


In Another Universe

by christy_ao3



Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, capwidow - Freeform, romanogers - Freeform, stevenat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22348261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christy_ao3/pseuds/christy_ao3
Summary: 2018. The worst nightmare for everyone. Who got dusted? Who's left?In this Universe, what if someone you didn't expect to was one of the fallen?For Natasha and Steve, will this Universe be for them or still against them?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	1. "I Love You"

I can’t believe what my eyes are seeing. This is a nightmare. I feel numb, terrified, I can’t feel my feet, yet I take a step, bigger steps. Faster. I'm running as fast as I could. Scared. In denial. 

Each step I take, another body gets dusted.

T’Challa.

Thor’s friend, the tree.

And more Wakandan.

I felt my body about to give up, but I can’t. I need to find my friends. My family. I kept looking around, witnessing this terrible scene. I need to see my team, yet I’m scared I’d see them dusted.

Steve.

I need to see him.

There. In front of Visions body. Looking at someone. Seeing how broken he is, it’s either Bucky or, Sam. I feel another pain piercing through me. Where are the others? Where’s Rhodey? Wanda? Please stop. Someone stop this.

Stop.

I’m standing behind Steve. Slowly placing my hand on his shoulder, scared he’d be too fragile and turn to dust if I put much pressure. He turned towards me. Tear falling from his eye.

Bucky.

It’s Bucky.

Then where’s Sam?

Please stay where you are. We’ll find you. Just please, don’t turn to dust.

I pulled Steve, to give him a hug. How hard it must’ve to see someone you love get dusted in front of you, without anything you could do. It’s a lot harder, but I don’t know how much harder. I don’t want to know. So please. Stay.

Don’t you dare get dusted in front of me Steve. And I won’t get dusted for you. I held him tighter, yet slowly. He’s here, in my touch. 

Thank—.

What’s this?

“Steve?”

“Nat.”

I can feel his arms loosen from my back.

“No.”

“Nat.”

I pulled back to look at him in the eyes.

“Steve no.”

He smiled. And it hurts.

I can’t. Please no.

“I love you, Nat.”

“Don’t do this.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Let me go with you.”

“Promise me you’ll live a life.”

I don’t want to, I don’t want a life without you. I want to tell him, and a lot more things but there’s no time. He’s slowly fading, but one thing I want him to hear for the first time, and painfully, maybe last.

“I love you.”

And there he’s nowhere to be seen. I let myself fall to the ground.

The day ended. I lost Steve. Sam. Wanda. Vision. Maria. Nick. As time goes by, the number of our lost teammates increases, slowly, painfully. Each second and the number of the dusted, increases.

No. I refuse to accept. Whatever sorcery is this, there’s got to be a way to undo this.

The pager. Carol Danvers. There’s too much destruction and the only good thing that happened is her and finding Tony. And Nebula.

After weeks, we’ve finally found a chance to face Thanos again. A chance to undo the snap. To have everyone back.

“I used the stones to destroy the stones.”

I feel my world crumbling down again, even if it already did.

Is this for real? Is that it? No. Of course not.


	2. The Life You Gave Me

A month passed and I thought I couldn’t be worse than I already am. Look what I’ve become. I’m throwing up a lot lately, I feel dizzy a lot. I guess my health is failing me as well. I don’t even care now, but then I have to tell myself I should stay strong. If not, I’ll miss the chance of getting another chance to undo the snap. Yes, I’m still hoping.

Each day passes and my body slowly changes.

Few more weeks and I knew I’m pregnant. I know the thing that kept me from bearing will eventually wear off but I didn't expect it to anytime soon. I don’t know what to feel.

Should I be happy, Steve left me this life. Sad because Steve is not here to raise his child, which I know he would’ve loved to.

_‘Promise me you’ll live a life.’_

I don’t want to without you in it. That’s what I thought but now I have to, for this life you gave me.

Two months. It’s a boy. You’re going to have a son, Steve. You will raise your son.

Four months. In the past month I kept thinking what would you want to name your son. I came up with few, in case you don’t come back in time.

James. James Rogers.

It could be after Bucky for you or could be after Rhodey for me. It’s a win for both of us.

Few more days.

You’re a father now Steve. Come back, we need you.

____

A little over four years. It’s 2023. You’re still not here. Each day I kept holding on to the tiny hope of getting you back, all of you.

I remember how Sam once counseled me about moving forward and to live a life, though I know he himself is struggling to get back to his normal one. He, by the way continues to do his counseling and been a great help to me, visiting me as often as he can, and being a really good uncle to James. His words rings in my ears again, and yours followed.

You've always been telling me this when we were on the run. And now, I'm imagining you here telling me those exact words again.

_‘We should get a life.’_

I couldn't get answer to that until now, Steve.

_‘You first.’_

You first, because you didn’t get to have yours for five years now. A tear fell from my eye.

“Mommy.”

I thought I could live a life, but the damage is too big. For James, I tried to hide the pain, the devastation. With James, I momentarily forget all of those, and I’m happy for a short moment til I get reminded of how his eyes are a complete copy of yours. Still I smile for him, I tell him stories of how his father is.

I wiped my tear away, smiling for my son in front of me.

“You miss daddy.”

“Always, James.”

“Can’t we get him back yet?”

“Soon, baby. I’ll make it happen.”

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, am I giving him false hope? Is it false hope when I myself can't stop from hoping? Tell me Steve.

His short arms are now holding me close to him. I wish you could experience everything I did with James, it’s the only thing that kept me sane from everything.

Like a cue a man I once saw from long time ago came to the compound. How? He's supposed to be among those we lost. Did he came back all of a sudden. If so, from where. Is he alone? Is everyone there from where he came back from? So many questions, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. I don't know, I'm excited yet I'm scared. I felt hopeful yet fearful.

"Mom, let's let him in. I think he needs help."

"Yeah, of course."

I'm facing him, hearing him out. I guess this is how desperate I am. Soon as I heard his story I was even more hopeful. I'm a little more hopeful, yet I still worry for failure.

Together with Sam and Scott, we went to Tony. We had to, there's only him left who could make this work... or at least closest to successfully make this work.

His at his cabin, with his family. With his daughter. I know this is something hard to ask from him.

"I got my second chance right here, Sam."

Tony didn't want to take part of this, and I don't blame him. He got the life he deserves, he's not gonna risk it. But here I am, still hoping that that side of Tony is still there. The man who's restless, trying to save lives. I didn't want him to be that, being restless and all but this is the time I need that side of Tony the most. As selfish as it is, and once again I am sorry for being so, I just really want everyone of my family back.

"What we gonna do? We gonna stop?"

"No. We gonna need a really big brain."

"Bigger than his?"

We met Bruce and I'm glad he found peace with the big guy. He isn't confident of this, it isn't his area of expertise but he's willing to help with everything he could. And with that I'm very thankful and excited... and worried.

After we built the machine, Scott volunteers to do the test. It was a fail. I know the probability of it working is thin,but I can't give up. I haven't for five years without anything, how much more this time when I have this... this time machine thing? I just have to try to look much harder.

I went out for a bit. To think. Where did we go wrong? How far are we from doing it right? Before I went deep with my thoughts a familiar sound resonated in the empty space of the compound. I squinted my eyes to see what's coming, far from where I stand I could already tell what car it is and who's driving.

Tony. This has to be something good, or else he wouldn't be here at this exact moment. My heart is lifted from what's weighing it. I know Tony, and I know why he's here. And I'm already thankful.

He lowers down the window, and we shared subtle smiles. Then he starts...

"Let me guess, he turned into a baby."

"Among other things, yeah."

"Well I fixed it."

He shows a what seems to be a watch, as he continues.

"Fully functioning time space gps."

"Thanks, Tony."

"I got to tell you my priorities. Bring back what we lost, I hope, yes. Keep what I found, I have too, at all cost. And maybe,"

"not die trying, would be nice."

We said the last sentence in rhyme. I found myself praying again, please make this work without having to loose anyone again.

"Deal."

Tony moved over at the back of his car, opening the hood behind revealing, Steve's shield.

"Tony."

"What? He made it for him and I believe the owner of this thing will be here soon enough. Plus, honestly I had to get it out of the garage before Morgan takes it sledding."

"Thank you."

"Can we keep that a little quiet? Didn't bring one for the whole team."

____

Few days later, we got location on Clint and soon as I saw him it broke me. He's at his worse.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you."

"I got a job to do."

"Is that what your calling this? Killing all these people isn't gonna bring your family back."

I walk over to him. I just wanna hold him and let him feel his not alone. That I'm here for him, I'm still here.

"We found something. A chance, maybe."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't give me hope."

"I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner."

____

We managed to get only one set of particle for each person and two test tries.

One.

Clint volunteers.

Few seconds later, Clint came back. I felt relieved, I was afraid I'd lost him too.

"It worked!"

And I thought I'll never feel any more relieved. It worked! It did. I felt a huge weight released from my body. It works and I will get everyone back. A tear fell from my eye, a tear of joy, excitement, hope.

Hang in there you guys.

Hang in there, Steve.

I'll see you soon. I will all see you soon.


	3. See You In A Minute

"How long will you be gone?"

This pains me, hearing his soft voice asking innocently. I'm not sure for how long, but I know I'll come back. For James, for everyone. I have a reason to comeback, I have someone to comeback to.

"I won't be long honey."

"Come back okay?"

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

"And mommy, bring daddy back too."

I felt my heart warming. I'll soon hold both of them in my arms.

I left James at the Stark's. Morgan and James have only met few times before but they instantly got along pretty well. With Morgan with him, for sure he won't get bored. And with Pepper and Happy taking care of them, for sure they'll be in safe hands. With this, I'm even more ready to go without worry. James is in good hands.

____

It didn't take long for us to get ready. We're so close and no one wants to waste any second.

"See you in a minute."

I smiled at myself, looking down at the platform. I don't know to whom I say this, to everyone standing on the same platform as me or to the family I'm about to see in a few. I guess to both.

I'm excited, I can feel it. I'm one step closer to having everyone back. I can't wait to see them again, to embrace them.

To hold Steve.

To see James finally meeting his father.

To see Steve finally meeting his son.

To live our lives.

To finally have a family of my own.

To have my whole family.

____

Vormir.

We're here. I didn't expect this place to be anything closer to how it actually is. It's dark, with some part of the sky that has pink-purplish hue.

I've been to a lot of missions, scary ones, life threatening, and Thanos, but this one seems peaceful yet dangerously different.

We started climbing the hill and each step I take I felt a little more... I don't know, I can't seem to figure it out. If I should explain it, it felt like what's about to happen is something familiar yet different.

We reached the top, and was greeted by a floating cloak slowly revealing a red skull. If I'd be honest, this would creep me to death if this happened before the chitauri attack in New York.

He's creepy but anything for my family. Anything.

"For you to obtain the ones you seek you shall give up what you love the most."

"An everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul."

The skull didn't say much but we understood. This is it.

That's why it's familiar, yet different. I've been to a lot life threatening missions yet this might be my last call.

I weighed everything in my mind, Clint does the same. I sat a little far from where he stands, giving each one the time to weigh in everything.

I have James to come back to.

Clint have three kids to get back.

I have Steve to get back.

Clint have Laura to get back.

I have a whole team to get back, a whole family, the rest that I haven't seen in five years.

Clint has been alone for the last five years.

I have half the living things to get back.

Clint has lost everything in the last five years.

I know, and I hate myself for thinking this way. I shouldn't, I have a family to comeback to. But so does he. He saved me once, is this the time for me to save his? If I don't then what kind of friend am I?

If I do, what kind of mother am I?

If I don't, what kind of human am I?

I let my mind be free of any thoughts for a couple of seconds. Then I started thinking again.

I've had my chance to live with James since the day he was born and even before, Steve hasn't. Whatever it takes, I have to give both of them a chance to meet each other, to live as a son and father, a family... even if it means without me.

A tear fell from my eye. I told James I'm coming back.

And I told him I'd bring his daddy back.

"Then I guess we both know who it's gonna be."

"I guess we do."

He held my hand and I hold his in return. He looks at me and I tried to smile naturally but he notices the pain in my eyes, Clint knows me that much.

"I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha."

We got into argument for a short while.

"Well I don't judge people on their worst mistakes."

"Maybe you should."

"You didn't."

"You're a pain to my ass you know that?"

We took a moment together for the last time, painfully. He leaned his head on mine and I never once imagine our parting would be as painful as this. Giving up one to save one? We both wouldn't let each other do it for the other. We both see what's gonna happen next.

"Okay. You win."

I don't believe him. He'd never let me take the fall as much as I wouldn't let him take it. I'm full of emotions and I know I have to run fast to the edge but he got me.

"Tell my family I love them."

"You tell them yourself."

I tased him and ran fast as I could til his explosive arrow hit me from the side. I looked at him in the eyes as he runs to jump the cliff.

He jumped.

And without wasting a second I ran after him, thankfully I caught him. I shoot a wire somewhere in the cliff and attached the other end of it to his vest.

He's still holding me, too scared to let me go. I looked down, then I realized, there's no turning back. This is how it ends for me.

"Let me go."

"No. No, please no."

I can feel my eyes are tearing up. It's hard to say, and even harder to let go but this is the only way.

Whatever it takes.

"It's okay."

"Please."

I can't stay any longer, if I do even just for a second I might change my mind. I might go back.

I kicked myself out of his grip and with much effort my wrist slipped from his hold.

"Nat!"

...

_'I've got red on my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out.'_

  
Those words ring to my ears for the last time.

Then as I fall deeper, I feel lighter, free.

...

As I fall, the Avengers, the whole team, Nick, Maria, Steve... James... it's all them I could see.

...

Before I hit the ground I could see Clint looking away. I'm sorry, you have to see me like this.

Before I took my last breath, I could see us. I could see the whole team looking at a family.

A happy family.

I look much closer.

It's us.

Steve. Natasha. James.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there.

_'If I do, what kind of mother I am?'_

I hear myself ask again.

_'You're the best mom.'_

_'It's okay mommy, don't be sad'_

_'I love you.'_

I love you baby.

____

Clint and all others, except for one, came back to exactly where they left a minute ago.

Everyone was celebrating how it worked but it was short lived soon as they saw an empty space beside Clint.

Bruce, looking devastated fearing for the worse.

"Clint, where's Natasha?"

Clint fall on his knees crying. And that answered everyones curiosity, Natasha didn't make it. No one knows how, and no one dared to ask. Clint definitely needs time.

A little bit later, the original four Avengers took a time together, Tony asking who's gonna tell James. No one answered.

The lonely silence made Thor furious, he shouted and reprimanded everyone for how they act. He still believes that since they have all the stones, they could get her back. Yet Clint counters in anger how the exchange is everlasting and can't be undone.

____

Not long after, Tony was able to finish the gauntlet they could use for the stones. Bruce volunteers to do it because he believe he's made for it that his the most likely to survive because of the gamma radiation inside him.

They all hold their breaths, no one dares releases it as they wait for what will happen.

Bruce, after gathering up his strength, snapped his fingers and shouted as he tries to suppress the power of the stones combined.

Gladly, Bruce survived with a burnt right arm. It could be worse.

Scott, slowly went over the huge windows and see for himself what has changed. Outside, he sees birds chirping a top the tree, observing everything in front and around him, his lips slowly started to crook on the sides. Happily smiling as it worked.

Clint on the other hand heard his phone vibrating from the table near them. Slowly he walked towards it, hoping for the best. Then he saw the caller id. Laura.

"It worked."

Before they could celebrate much further. A huge explosion can be heard and felt from the outside.

One, after another.

Turns out Nebula was not their Nebula, and invited Thanos and his army from the year 2014.

Everything went downhill. They're now facing a huge army, Thanos' army. And they're outnumbered, too outnumbered.

"You could not live with your own failure. Where did it bring you? Back to me."

The fight between Thanos' army and the rest was painful to watch. Tony and Thor faced Thanos and the rest facing thousands of aliens.

They were about to hopelessly lose again, when...

____

In Wakanda. Okoye witnessed how each and every dusted Wakandan started appearing once again. Then she knew, they must've found a way. She can't help herself but smile proudly of how Natasha finally got what she's been working so hard for the past years.

Steve and Bucky reunited once more.

I don't know how long it has been, but we're here together again. For a second I thought we're in a different placewith just everyone who got dusted but I recognize the place, we are where we left a moment ago. We're back, and I know Natasha must be the head of this, and I'm proud of her. I can't wait to tell her that, but I'm much more excited to tell her I'm back.

I'm back, Nat. See you in a minute.

I can't stop myself from feeling excited. But then one sorcerer, he says he is, welcomes us with something not welcoming.

I didn't even thought of this since the moment I came back, I was just so thankful and looking forward to seeing Natasha and others again. I almost forgot we lost a fight, and didn't expect we'd comeback to another one.

He opened a portal for us, and before it's accessible I called to Nat but it's not connecting to hers, and for a little I'm worried.

The next thing, I called to Sam who seems to not be here, means he survived the snap.

"Sam, can you hear me?"

____

On the battle ground, at the compound, Sam could be seen picking up Steve's shield that Natasha prepared for Steve when he heard a static on his earpiece. He wonders who it's from.

Slowly the voice gets clearer. And soon he recognized it, thankful it worked and thankful of the help that's coming their way.

____

"On your left."

Everyone started to notice one portal opens after another. And everyone started to feel relieved.

I went in and found how awfully the compound turned out, It's unrecognizable. Then I started to command.

"Avengers."

Sam handed the shield to me, I looked over to Tony and he just nods. So I took it.

Then I immediately searched for Natasha. Every time I say that words, she's always beside me and it will feel different if she's not. Tony, Thor, Bruce, I could spot them easily. But where's Nat? However small she is, I'd always be able to spot her in seconds.

I continue searching from the corner of my eyes, yet I can't be distracted. I know wherever she is, she sees me. And that's enough for now.

"Assemble."


	4. It's Okay, Don't Be Sad

The fight ended. And still I couldn't see Natasha. Tony took the fall alone, til the Guardians shared it with him. Soon, a girl who seems to have a flaming hands joined the chain, then Thor, the girl with Pegasus. They're all not humans, or at least not an average mortal.

I don't know what they're doing but I can see what it does to Tony, I'm not just gonna stand and not try, so I joined the chain, Wanda followed, then others would attempt but they would be blown away, or fall out not too long after. The master sorcerer did whatever help he did. Bruce tried but Thor shouted against it, seeing his right arm I figured he used the stones to bring everyone back. It'd be dangerous for him to do it twice.

For that moment I thought I'd lost the chance to see, to hold, Natasha again so I set my mind to survive whatever it takes, and we all did. But with Tony, the main one who held the stones, loose function of his right arm.

Still, it could be worse.

I continue asking for Natasha, no one seems to know where she is, probably the ones that was dusted too. So I went to Sam.

"Have you seen Nat?"

"Cap."

...

I don't feel good, he looks like he doesn't have any good thing to say.

I feared for the worse.

"I'm sorry, Steve."

I hoped for the best.

"What do you mean?"

...

"Nat's gone."

...

...

My whole world crumbles down. It was just lifted a while ago when we won.

For a moment, I stand frozen. Bucky patted my back and then tearsstarted falling from my eyes. And I let myself cry.

I told you I'd see you in a minute, so where are you?

____

Few hours later, with my half broken shield, I sat on an empty space. Looking over how ruined the place is. Is it enough to describe how broken I feel inside?

Natasha sacrificed herself for this, and it worked, she'd be so proud. If only she's here.

Natasha sacrificed herself, if I was there I would've saved her from the horrifying decision. I would never let her, I would take her place whatever it takes.

Yet I know she would do the same for me.

Then if I couldn't save her, I would've done it with her.

"Natasha wouldn't want to see you this way."

"Bucky."

"I haven't known her for long but I know she'll be happier if you'll keep moving forward."

"I know."

But still, if only I was there.

____

The next day, Steve and Bucky spent the night at Sam's as the compound would take time to rebuild.

Now that Steve is a little calmer, Sam took the chance to tell Steve about James.

"I have a son?"

A mixed emotions filled me at once.

____

We went to the Stark's, where Natasha left our son.

I've heard about Tony and Pepper and their little one. And I'm happy for them.

About my son, I'm no doubt happy and excited to meet him but at the same time I'm conflicted.

Will he like me as his father?

Will I reach his expectations?

Will I be a good father?

What am I supposed to do when I see him?

Where meeting the first time yet I'm only bringing a bad news about his mom.

How am I suppose to tell him?

What is he like? What does he like? Will I make up for the five years I wasn't by his side?

Will I be able to fill in of Natasha's absence?

No I don't want to fill in Natasha's place, I want to make my own without replacing hers.

But what do I do if he wants his mom?

Am I ready to see him?

Even if I'm not, I still want to see him.

How does he look?

How much did he got from me? How much is of Natasha?

What if he reminds me of Natasha? Will it hurt or will my pain be less?

I have so much in my mind, feels like it's about to burst with questions. If only Natasha is here, she'd be able to calm me down.

How hard was it for her these past years? Raising our son without me? Facing each day trying to be strong for James?

Not long enough we reached Tony's place. It looks good, refreshing. How nice would it be to have a life like this with my own family? With Natasha in it?

____

"Mommy?"

James came running expecting his mother to be here to fetch him. He likes it here but he's excited to see his mom and possibly his father too.

____

"Mommy?"

I can hear his excited little voice. It pierces me, he's looking for his mom. How am I suppose to do this?

A girl and a boy came out from the door, standing at the porch.

Morgan. And my son.

He's beautiful even from where I stand. I trembled subtly, yet I have all the strength to put one foot in front of the other, closing the big space between us.

Now, I stand in front of him.

"Daddy?"

He looked so surprised... and happy?

"James."

"Daddy!"

I don't know what melts me more, him calling me daddy or his little arms holding me tight around my neck.

I carried him in my arms. He smells like his mother. A tear fell from my eye.

James pulled away and looked me in the eyes. He got my eyes. It must've been painful for Natasha looking from this little eyes and gets reminded of me.

His hair is red, he got it from Natasha.

My Natasha.

My James.

"Daddy, are you sad? Don't you like me?"

"No. No. Of course I like you, I love you."

It pains me hearing him ask that.

"I know."

He smiled, he really got some of your traits Natasha. I didn't realize a tear fell from my eye again til James' little hand wiped the trace out of my cheeks.

"Then why is this? You're that happy to see me?"

He chuckled. And I did the same. He's lovely, Natasha. Thank you.

"Where's mom?"

The question I'm so scared of hearing from him. Everyone was silent, and I couldn't get words to say myself.

I can see him looking around, searching for his mom.

"Uncle Sam?"

Sam looked at me, but before I could say a word James hugged me tighter.

"It's okay. We'll get her back. Don't be sad daddy."

I could already tell he's gonna keep surprising me as I get to know him.

Thank you Natasha, for giving me this chance.

Don't worry, just like what our son said. We'll get you back.

Whatever it takes.

I love you.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [END]
> 
> Thank you all for reading this short SteveNat story. I know it feels rushed but I just want it to remain short and open end.
> 
> I'll have a one shot SteveNat story for my next one.


End file.
